1. Straight talk cannot get a politician from a current point A to the point B at which he really wishes to arrive.
2. To extend a growth-of-government line, project it indefinitely in a line straight to hell.
3. To describe how politicians approach the real solution to a social or economic problem, trace the circle described by a fixed radius of substantial length from the solution point.
4. All right and left angles are morally equal to one another.
5. Politics and morality are parallel lines and never meet.
6. Democratic and Republican policies that are essentially equal to the same thing are also equal to one another.
7. If equal amounts are added to the government’s debt by Republicans and Democrats, the increases in the debt are equally inconsistent with the general public interest (if any exists).
8. If equal amounts of economic rationality are subtracted from economic policy, then the number of incumbents reelected to Congress is equal to the number reelected in the previous election.
9. Politicians who coincide with one another, such as Republicans and Democrats who support “bipartisan” measures, are equally dishonorable.
10. The whole of society is greater than the part that government officials can comprehend, and much greater than the part that they can manage for the attainment of a desirable end.