Nov 10, 2004
Quagmire Exit Strategy
Here's a speech the president isn't likely to give, but should.
I would now like to address the Iraqi people, and I’ll be very brief. We’re leaving. Tomorrow morning, all US troops will be withdrawing from Iraq. Before you start firing guns in the air, which NRA safety guidelines discourage, take a moment to contemplate your situation. Until very recently, you were subjects of one the worst tyrannies in recent history. Now you are not. I had hoped you would embrace your freedom and institute a pluralistic, democratic republic, but I see that you have been slow to embrace this. It’s also started to seem like you actually resent our presence here, so we’re going to leave. I implore you, though, don’t throw away the opportunity. We got rid of Saddam for you, but only you can make a free society. In a couple more days, the only people here with guns will be you. What will you do with them? Will you use them to kill those of a different faith or tribe? Or will you put them away, reserving them for defensive purposes, and set about the business of figuring out how to live together? If you need advice about how to set up a constitutional regime, we stand ready to advise you – via email. If you want to attract businesses and investors, you’ll have to create your own peace and stability. If you’re going to take hostages and cut off heads, you’ll find no one wants to open an office here. So, please, take a day off in thoughtful contemplation – we call tomorrow “Veterans Day”; you can do the same if you like – and the day after that, we’ll be gone, and you’ll be on your own. The choice will then be yours – build a free, stable, and peaceful society, or commence a bloody civil war. We’ve removed the tyrant, the rest is up to you. We’ll be going now. Goodbye, and good luck. Call if you need anything.
I would now like to address the Iraqi people, and I’ll be very brief. We’re leaving. Tomorrow morning, all US troops will be withdrawing from Iraq. Before you start firing guns in the air, which NRA safety guidelines discourage, take a moment to contemplate your situation. Until very recently, you were subjects of one the worst tyrannies in recent history. Now you are not. I had hoped you would embrace your freedom and institute a pluralistic, democratic republic, but I see that you have been slow to embrace this. It’s also started to seem like you actually resent our presence here, so we’re going to leave. I implore you, though, don’t throw away the opportunity. We got rid of Saddam for you, but only you can make a free society. In a couple more days, the only people here with guns will be you. What will you do with them? Will you use them to kill those of a different faith or tribe? Or will you put them away, reserving them for defensive purposes, and set about the business of figuring out how to live together? If you need advice about how to set up a constitutional regime, we stand ready to advise you – via email. If you want to attract businesses and investors, you’ll have to create your own peace and stability. If you’re going to take hostages and cut off heads, you’ll find no one wants to open an office here. So, please, take a day off in thoughtful contemplation – we call tomorrow “Veterans Day”; you can do the same if you like – and the day after that, we’ll be gone, and you’ll be on your own. The choice will then be yours – build a free, stable, and peaceful society, or commence a bloody civil war. We’ve removed the tyrant, the rest is up to you. We’ll be going now. Goodbye, and good luck. Call if you need anything.