Carl Pyrdum,"The Complete Gentleman: A Compleat Loade of Crape," Got Medieval, 1 August. Pyrdum demonstrates that, if a book is really bad enough, you do not have to read it in order to give it the scathing riff it deserves. And think how much time you will have saved yourself in the process.

Phil Rockstroh,"The United States of Dixieland: Corporatism, Jesus and the Death Genes," Dissident Voice, 6 August. Thanks to ahistoricality and wood s lot for the tip.

That meditation on death in the low-country ought to prepare you for Abe Opincar's"He Would've Wanted Everyone to Eat," New York Times, 10 August. Belle Waring recommends that you get yourself a Carolina Rice Cooker and follow her recipe for Charleston Red Rice, a dish worthy of the meal after the funeralizin's done. Just remember:"Even Dead Men Don't Eat No Gummy Rice."