What Are They Thinking?

by Cliopatria

In a colossal show of poor judgment, someone at UTPB has decided to ask me to be the guest color commentator for tonight’s UTPB men’s and women’s basketball games against Wayland Baptist University. Having never done this sort of thing before, I would guess that it will be a glorious trainwreck. If you want a good laugh (not a funny laugh, mind you, but more of a schadenfreude sort of thing) check in at 6:00 central time at at UTPB’s internet radio feed. I assure you it will be worth the price of admission.

By the way, UTPB is not a particularly strong program (yet!). It is only in its third year. Last year the men's team set a school record for wins with 4. Yes, that’s four. This weekend our guys served as cannon fodder for Texas A&M, hardly a basketball juggernaut. All the Aggies did was beat the Falcons 98-36, the largest margin of victory in A&M history. Meanwhile 4-0 Wayland Baptist comes in having already beaten us at their place earlier in November by a 107-70 tally. Our women seem to be on the verge of somewhat more success, having both garnered wins this year and having doubled the men's totals for wins last season. Still, I am a professional. There is a game to be, well, to be whatever I am going to do to it. It should be fun. Roll over Dickie V, tell Bill Walton the news!!

UPDATE: Oh, and by the way -- I think it is safe to say that a"sweeet sassy mollassy!" will make it in there somehow.

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More Comments:

Derek Charles Catsam - 12/2/2004

Ed --
I had a few good moments. This was my first game, and the AD was just a couple of seats down, so I figured I would not be too irreverent. When our women won, I proclaimed "polish off the prune juice and send granny to bed, this one's done." As promised, there were a few absurd ones, like "sweet sassy molassy," in honor of Ray Romano's brilliant SNL sketch where he is one of the Sportscenter anchors, as well as a Joe Buck-esuque "Slamma Lamma Ding Dong," and if anyone from Wayland Baptist was listening they probably thought I went overboard when i said that their women's uniforms looked as if they had been designed by a colorblind European exchange student. There were others, but it was a blur.
The play-by-play guy is a student, a sharp guy, but he plays it pretty straight, making it difficult to clown to much. I am certain i sounded amateurish, but it went well enough that I'll be the regular color guy for our men's and women's home games as long as it fits my schedule. As I get more comfortable i am sure the nonsensical nonsequiters will fly. I may post the schedule sometime just to keep everyone up to date, or at least post on Rebunk that I'll be on the mic on game days.
dc

Ed Schmitt - 12/2/2004

Not being too attentive to detail I tuned in this evening (Wednesday) and got nothing but the really long UTPB promo. At least the spokesman had an oddly soothing voice. How'd the game call go? Did you coin any new terms?