Toss A Brick-Steal A Vote
During and immediately after an election, such sabotage is met with genuine anger but as time passes and the election recedes the felonies begin to be seen as colorful acts of derring-do. We are ambivalent about theft; it is never approved of but sometimes admired. If baseball is our national pastime, then isn’t it interesting how large a part cheating plays in the game? Not only do they “steal” bases but they “steal” signs, they cork their bats, they conceal strange substances to make the pitched ball do untoward ziggy-zaggies. The amused tolerance and even pride exhibited by baseball fans also shows up in the reactions to cheating in elections – but only after the event has gone into the history books. The alleged stealing of the 1960 Presidential election by Illinois Democrats is spoken about in very different language than it was 40 years ago.
This year the Republicans are accusing the Democrats of fraudulently registering thousands of voters in Ohio and Florida, two must-win states. Registering phoney names and voting phoney names are two different things. It was done in the past, particularly in late 19th century Indiana, then an important swing state, by bringing in what were called “mattress voters.” They got that name because squads of itinerant workers, rummies, hobos and such were imported from out of state just shortly before election day and housed upstairs above the saloons where they slept on floors covered with mattresses. The “mattress vote,” as it was called in that bygone era, required a vast amount of party organization, none of which exists any more, so how, if the Democrats have registered thousands of non-existent persons, are they going to vote them?
In recent times the standard Republican tactic has not been to bring in illegal voters but to try to knock out legal Democratic ones, usually by kicking them off the registration lists or, later, challenging them at the polls, a ploy which holds up lines, makes people wait and forces many, especially those who have to go to work or look after children, to give up the idea of casting a ballot. For such maneuvers the modern Democrats seem to have few answers except bringing in the lawyers, but you can’t win the lawyer game against Republicans. With their money and connections they can outlawyer the D’s two to one. If that doesn’t work, they can fix the judge. If today were like earlier eras, Democratic campaign workers would buy a bunch of disposable, non-traceable cell phones and distribute them to carefully selected partisans who would call in bomb scares and false fire alarms to disrupt the voting in heavily Republican precincts. You stop our vote, we stop yours.
The modern Democrat doesn’t do things like that. He or she is more inclined to find a microphone and complain it is “unfair.” Unfair is the most used word in the Democratic political lexicon, even though it simply irritates most people to hear it. Let us hope that on Tuesday and beyond Democrats will not react to Republican shenanigans by shouting “Unfair!” If Democrats want to protect their votes and their rights, they should hit the streets in very large numbers to demonstrate near the polling places and election commission offices where the Republicans do their mischief. The crowds should chant, shout, scream, generally misbehave and absolutely refuse to go away. Intimidation must be met with counter-intimidation, threat with threat, force with force. One of the things that has happened to the Democrats these past years as they have become the sissy soft party of empathy is that the Republicans no longer fear them. In politics, where there is no fear, there is no respect.
So to the barricades, ladies and gentlemen, and don’t mind your manners.