I really like this quote from an NAH study on caffeine, which I found on the website of the Center for Science in the Public Interest scolds:

...decaf drinkers are more likely than other coffee drinkers to take care of themselves. They tend to take more vitamins, exercise more faithfully, and eat more cruciferous vegetables like broccoli. They're even more likely to use seat belts when they drive.

And heavy-coffee-drinkers generally smoke more, drink more alcohol, and eat more fatty foods than non-coffee-drinkers.

There you have it. Caffeine is a gateway to smoking, alcohol abuse, obesity, vitamin defficiency, sloth, cruciferous vegetable defficiency, and seatbelt-less driving.

Yer' goin' down, Mermaid.