Nooners Goes Bonkers

I find it truly incredible that a newspaper that wants to be taken seriously can publish drivel like this on a regular basis. I hereby dub Ms. Noonan"Nooners," since she sounds like an adolescent girl who just learned some"grown-up" words and now uses them to justify her latest crush."Nooners" has a nice sort of round-the-bend quality to it, like Nooners herself at this point, and for quite a long time now actually. Oh, by the way, I dissected Nooners' hagiographic treatment of Bush at some length in the second half of this post from a year ago, where I discussed her tribute to"Mr. Backbone." No, I kid you not. Those"libertarians" and"Objectivists" who sound just like Nooners might want to reconsider the kind of intellectual company they are keeping.

In her latest paean to Mr. Bush as The Single Most Wonderful Thing to Have Happened Since I Can't Remember When, Nooners begins this way:

I do not know precisely why President Bush's popularity continues high despite a month of the most relentless pounding from partisans, the press, the 9/11 commission and history itself (Fallujah, etc.) No one else knows either.

In fact, some of us have a few thoughts about that, Nooners. Get a grip. Read a bit more, outside your own circle of frighteningly deep thinkers.

After going on and on and on and on about Bush, about how Americans can understand his"thinking" (not the word I would have chosen, but there you go), about how Bush is"an average American," meaning"straight shooter, hard worker, decent, America-loving, God-loving," and lots of similar filler, she says:

Mr. Bush has the calm and anxious face of an American man who believes in God but just read the raw threat file. He knows what trouble we're in and he knows what time it is. He is alert and determined but ultimately trusting and hopeful, because there really is a God and he really is watching. This is very American.

I ask you. Is there anyone who actually takes this kind of tripe seriously? When we're talking about issues like waging war, spending billions of dollars -- and costing the lives of many Americans, many Iraqis, and who knows how many other people? I mean, seriously?

If they do, they should check themselves into a psychiatric ward pronto. Over the top, Nooners.

Way, way over the top, and round the bend. Loopy. Nutso. Stultifyingly silly.

Okay. I just needed to get that out of my system.