To Do: Misrepresent Self to Cultish Following. Party in Panama.

Color me firmly in the"Martha Stewart is getting hosed" camp, but to be honest, the woman is such an unlikeable phony, it's hard to generate any sympathy for her. According to her magazine, which has a"Martha's Calandar" feature, here's what Martha told loyal Matha-heads she'd be doing on December 27, 2001:

Read books all day; Movies at night.

Citing court records, here's what the Washington Post reports Martha actually did that day:

But she hit the road that day, flew down to Mexico on a private plane, en route to a yacht party off the Panamanian coast. Her good friend, Mariana Pasternak, flew with her, as did Kevin Sharkey, an editor at the magazine.

On a stopover in San Antonio, Stewart called Ann Armstrong, her secretary back at Martha Stewart Living Omnimedia.

What happened next is in dispute, and may or may not land Martha in jail. But I'm more amused by the dichotomy between Martha's jet-setting yacht parties and the toaster-cozy knitting, simple-life image she projects.